Saturday, January 10, 2009

Lice, Red Belly


























Please take these photos as proof that the Red Bellied Woodpecker has no red belly. Obviously, it has a red head. Birdists, kindly explain.

If I could have gotten this red head to come home with me it could have helped a great deal. We got the call last night around 6 that a bunch of kids we know had head lice, and it turned out that a bunch of us had the scourge too. Yes, that includes me. But I'll have you know I have very sexy, sophisticated lice throwing a swanky party behind my ears complete with acrobats and dancing bears.

If I could only train a woodpecker as a nitpicker when I get a little tired of the clingy squatters. Our Brooklyn nitpickers charge a pretty penny, you know? Anyway, there were none around to help me last night, and alas, nary a woodpecker or sister wife to come to my aid when the skeeving hit me hard. Alone, in the shower, I probably lost a quarter of my hair to the steely fine-toothed comb pulls lubricated with copious pantene.

A few things I hope I remember if this ever happens again.
• If you're head itches a lot, especially behind the ears and at the nape of the neck, you might have lice.
• Keep extra combs for family infestations so you don't have to stop and do the 15 minute comb boil.
• 30 minutes in the hot dryer will kill lice dead. So maybe I don't have to wash pillows and bedding over and over again every day while the problem continues. You can also freeze things to kill the lice.
•your comb is your best friend.
•don't skimp on the pantene.

Any other hot tips for sexy lice welcome. I'll be reviewing the CDC guidelines sent by my mom. Happy snow day.

7 comments:

Matthew said...

The woodpeckers are confusing. There is a "red-headed woodpecker" and it was probably named before the red-bellied. Actually, if the light is right, and you are right underneath the bird, you can see a blush of red there on the belly. I've seen it once or twice, out of, say, fifty times.

Good luck on that nit-picking. I guess it's all about the details.

amarilla said...

Oh, that red-headed has a helmet, I see. And the red bellied more of a toupee. No disrespect.

Bluebird of Friendliness said...

I read somewhere that this bird was named in the era when bird-watching involved shooting the bird and looking at it in one's hand. So many birds have names based on details that are impossible to see if you are not holding the bird in your hand. I have seen a red blush on the belly, but the red cap and nape are much better traits to help with identification.

Brenda from Flatbush said...

My condolences on da nits. We have been spared this scourge, I don't know why. A friend, a former elementary school teacher, warns direly about re-infestation via coats and hats in the school cloakroom or closet or locker area, insists you must have all kids store their stuff in separate garbage bags tied with twistems. Anyway, you are very brave.

amarilla said...

Well, perhaps that's another layer to the saying "A bird in the hand," bluebird. Thanks for the encouragement Brenda. I hope I'm braver than my lice.

Frank Jump said...

There is a lice outbreak in my school as well. When I got the memo, I started to scratch. So far, no nits on the ends of my hair shafts. I suggest to parents of school-aged children to keep their (and your) hair very short and check often.

Jody Reale said...

Bummer about the head pests. Last year, our family had our first experience, and what with this being Colorado, we don't even have nitpickers to hire. I figured out what I think is a pretty good system and wrote it all down. It did the trick in about 2 days. If you'd like a free copy of the eBook, just holler; I'll send you one with my condolences.