I've been frustrated that I haven't remembered many dreams lately, but this morning I woke up to the kind that casts a long shadow across the entire day. Not a bad shadow, just a long one. In this dream I was in some kind of subway station, a fancier one like at 59th St., just standing with my back to the wall in a hall people were passing through, with Nora, my youngest daughter, under my left arm. The melody to Joni Mitchell's "Both Sides Now" was flowing out of my mouth like a warped and bubbly stream echoing through a cave. Of course in the dream I had no idea what song it was, I only knew it was familiar and could never have remembered the words.
When I woke up, I realized that Nora really was under my arm, only it was the right one, and instantly the words to "Both Sides Now" started to run through my mind. I actually can't handle that song very well, I think it is too powerful for me like some things are, it makes me feel really sad and sentimental, and I'm afraid of its profound stickiness. But today it went through my head all day, and I realized what a sober and poetic meditation Joni Mitchell's comtemplation of life's illusions is, and I'm feeling a pretty strong nudge to read up on this really unreal woman, whose work I've never deliberately come in contact with. The video grabs me by the gut with astonishing ferocity, and I find I can't believe that anyone could be that beautiful. "So many things I would have done but clouds got in my way..." Tell me about it.
I enjoyed the novelty of humming in a dream, even if I was in some sad cave-like place. I'm vaguely aware that my dreams often occur in some labyrinthine area more resembling a major staging place like the Javits Center (depressing!), Grand Central or Ikea than some lovely coral reef or peaceful valley, but I know I'm not the only one who dreams in bleak landscapes embroidered with garbled melodies. I suspect I get frustrated and confused in many of my dreams because they simply don't make sense, and I get tired of it all and stop dreaming. Other dreams I suspect I don't remember because the content falls beyond anything I can even remotely conceptualize.
5 comments:
Beautiful. Poetic. Real Thanks.
Joni Mitchell's music is worth exploring. For me there is certainly a sense of bleakness, but there is also an awareness of the fragility of humanity, love of nature, and an all-knowingness. I once watched a documentary about her and she mentioned writing the songs for her album Blue. she took the songs to Kris Kristofferson and he heard the depth of emtion, the rawness, and said something like, 'Don't give so much. Save some for yourself.' As artists we often use our art to turn over a part of ourselves, to analyze it, dissect it, and reclaim it. You do that on your blog, and we are all better for it.
Peace!
Joe Monkman
http://www.fishingforsoul.wordpress.com
wow. what a beautiful dream. thank you for sharing it with us. i also recommend that you check out more of joni's work, particularly the early albums. all worth hearing, dreaming about, and humming in caves.
Thanks for your comments. I don't think I've ever been ready for her before now, I needed more irony for armor. Now I can handle the one brave enough to articulate so much of herself and " wobble on a pedestal"as she describes in the documentary about Blue I just watched.
Beautiful. And the photo is, too.
What a lovely blog you have! (What an ungainly word blog is.)
I prefer older Joni by far than younger Joni (much as I adore the young Joni), which speaks for the caliber of her talent and dedication, but sometimes it is good to be reminded how simply beautiful she was as a young woman.
Heartbreakingly beautiful regains all the meaning that overuse has worn from it, when I watch this vid.
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