Am I a Douchebag?

I'm scared. I'd love to hear people's opinions about the images that I posted yesterday of my neighbor's rescue. I feel like an opportunist.

I heard the sirens and ran out of my house, my brand new camera in my hands, its big round eye blank as the new moon. As soon as I saw the trucks I got all choked up because they are so beautiful to me, and then when I saw how tenderly everyone was caring for Dolores, feeling her pain, I found it so moving, and so deeply human. So. many. people. were there, attending to this one tiny fragile woman, it took my breath away.

These situations switch people from beings that manufacture our lives to meet our taste to human beings, all relentlessly vulnerable. So I had to do it. Because it was the pith of my day, the best I had to offer, made me feel like I was one with my neighbors in tenderness for Dolores. But having published these images, haven't I put a wall up? I feel kind of crappy.

Douchebag... that's a word that I keep hearing, on Saturday Night Live, in the New York Magaine story about Gawker..What exactly are the qualities of a douchebag? How can you be sure if you are one?

Is there a special kind of retreat or therapy for douchebags? Does that diagnosis have a DSM code? Will my insurance plan pay?