Strugglers and Jokers

I've learned to disregard the idea that there are good and bad parents, just like I've had to reject the idea that there are good and bad babies. Some parents take to parenting with more grace that's for sure, and some of us struggle a bit or a lot. And some babies take to life with smiles and giggles and properly timed naps, those are the easy ones. The ones you'd call bad are ones struggling desperately to adjust to the world, who require what sometimes seems like endless support from their parents, and hopefully, their community.

I hope my own parenting skills haven't caused too much wincing on the part of those used to eating out for brunch without the intrusion of children who have very different ideas about what goes on at, under or on top of a table.

Maybe at certain points I've gotten a little swept away honoring my children's individuality, just to see how far they'd take it. Once time when my son was about 2 he decided he'd rather not sit with his parents at temple, and walked off to sit down next to a stranger. He didn't seem to be making any trouble until he started playing with the stranger's ear, folding it down and up. The man must have been a saint because he didn't seem to mind. I don't remember exactly how the situation worked out, I'm sure we tried to capture the fearless tot and set limits, but we couldn't help admiring his comfort and confidence with strangers. And his fascination with ears.

My husband and I still marvel at the spectacle of Guiliani's son mocking him during his inaugural speech, sticking his head into the camera frame as if to steal the show from his father. I wonder what happened to that boy after that.

I have to say I don't think I've been the best at parenting. Even though people tell me I'm a "good mother," I know there are too many times when I've been much too intense and impatient, and too many times when I was afraid to set the limits that needed to be set. Other times when I was too distracted to notice what needed to be noticed, and unable to relax when I needed to lighten up. Yes, its definately been a struggle. But as of yet I haven't dialed nanny 911. I did quit my job though, and it's been a more peaceful kingdom since then, but I have a much emptier bank account.